The Hunter's Journal: First Day Alone

November 2008
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Nov 30

The Hunter’s Journal: First Day Alone

Here’s a short story I wrote a few years back based on the first time I struck out on my own in the woods. It’s pretty much all true, to the best of my memory, anyways.

I wrote it because one of my favorite parts of hunting with my family, is the stories we share afterwards. I wanted to capture some of those stories to share my experience with others.

We reached the tree line just as the first hint of sunrise could be caught on the horizon. The sky there had begun to warm from black to grey. Once we stepped into the forest, however, night had returned. From there I followed my father as best I could. For a man much older and heavier than I, he made good time when in the woods. In fact, he started to get ahead of me. He picked his way up the hill with silent, steady strides while I stumbled over the unseen obstacles that he somehow avoided. He didn’t get very far ahead before I couldn’t see him anymore. The silhouette that I had been following had faded and blended with the rest of the forest’s shadows. I stopped, hoping to see movement against the black and grey. But there was nothing; not even a sound. In fact, the longer I listened, the more I noticed how silent it was. There were no cars passing by. No TVs or radios in the background. No running water or muffled voices. It was pure silence. We were completely within the forest, and it was still asleep.

I reached into the pocket of my orange hunting vest. The color was only barely visible in the growing light of morning. That was an indication of just how little light there really was, since this vest very nearly glowed in the dark. But my thoughts didn’t linger there long. I soon had my flashlight in hand and turned it on, being careful to cover most of the lens, so that the only light shone just before my feet. I looked back up, trying to find my dad with what little light I had added to the dark forest. But the light I held actually made it harder to see at a distance. So I shut it off and looked again.

Then I saw another light flash in response to mine not far ahead, maybe twenty yards, and a little to the left. I followed the light, very aware of every little sound. Every twig that snapped or caught my jacket. Every heavy footfall and deep breath, was deafening. I cringed as I approached my father, trying my best to move in silence. Once I caught up he turned and began walking again. I caught a faint hint of a smile as he did so. He left his flashlight on, though covered as I had done with mine. We continued on, but every so often he would reach back and flash the light on some twig or log that I would have otherwise stepped on or tripped over.

We walked like that for what seemed like hours when finally we stopped. My dad turned and flicked his flashlight off. The sun had risen enough so that I could see his face, but it was only just bright enough to play tricks on your mind. Shadows blended with reality, and imagination brought shadows to life.

"OK, Son," he whispered, "your tree is up that way," he pointed up the hill and to my right, to which I nodded in reply. "And my blind is over here," this time he pointed to my left. I nodded again. I knew the way. I’d done it more times than I can remember, though today was the first time I went on my own. And it was still dark out. He proceeded to give me detailed directions to the tree I would be hunting from. My dad knew this forest better than his own home. Probably because in a way, it was also his home.

I nodded and turned, the determined look on my face wasted as it was lost in the shadows of the dawn. But before I could take a step, my dad laid a hand on my shoulder. "Good luck, Son." He said silently.

I turned and saw the glitter in his eye, and the crooked smile. I smiled back and shook his hand. "You too, Dad." I replied. I’d have given him a hug if we weren’t both holding guns. A handshake was good enough, though. With that he turned and disappeared once more into the shadows. I paused a moment before I started walking. I was painfully aware of how much louder and clumsier I was than him in the woods. But I picked my steps carefully in an effort to be more like him.

I had gone probably half of the way to my tree when my concentration was broken by the whimpering sounds of a coyote. I froze in my tracks and slowly turned my head in the direction of the sound. My hearing had always been my strong point in the woods. I was the ears and my dad was the eyes. But now I was alone, and I was blind. I heard more barking and snapped my head in that direction. I stood stone still, watching the woods for any signs of movement. They didn’t sound very close, but I didn’t want them coming much closer. I knew that they’d probably run away if they saw me, but I was still scared.

Careful to make little motion, I slipped my left hand into my pocket and closed my hand around one of the shotgun shells that I had in there. We never loaded our guns until we got to our spots. It was safer that way. Now I felt reassured. In my hand I held the power to kill. The power to stop and alter the course of nature. Not that coyotes were a threat, but the mind finds many dangers in the unknown. And the ghostly whimpering of the coyotes off in the darkness was more than enough to make my imagination run wild.

Confident once again I resumed my careful walk. The shadows just starting to separate from the trees as the sun approached the horizon. Light was slowly rolling over the hills and filtering through the forest. And as it did, the forest began to awaken. Branches shook off the thin blanket of the night’s snow. A few scattered birds warmed their voices. I even saw some squirrels scurry around the underbrush, searching for their winter stores. I felt myself waking along with the forest. Slowly the fog in my head cleared, and my fear was forgotten. I released my grip on the shell and took my hand out of my pocket to brush aside a branch.

But in all of this, I hadn’t realized that I’d lost my way. I paused and looked around. Nothing looked familiar in the early light. I noticed the creek, and knew that my tree was along it, but I wasn’t sure if I’d passed it yet or not. I scorned myself for not paying better attention as my eyes searched for something familiar. But a thin frosting of snow had changed the entire forest. I was sure that I would have noticed the tree if I had approached it. So I continued on up the hill, along the creek. This time I was more careful to keep my eyes open.

Eventually trusting my instincts paid off. I found my tree not much further up. My tree stood next to an old, knotted oak tree that we called simply ‘The Big Oak’. It was a small pine tree that had it’s branches weighed down to the ground. It made for a nice shelter, but provided a little too much cover on some sides. I watched a sigh drift away as I took a moment to rest. I knew I had to get settled in soon. The sun was almost up, and I wanted to be in place so I wouldn’t scare anything away.

I got to work almost immediately. I started by clearing an area to sit, and snapping a few obstructive branches. Once that was done, I put out some lure to cover my scent. I walked out twenty yards or so and made a wide circle, putting a few drops here and there. Once I was back at the tree I paused a minute to look around. I marked the spots that were clear, and where I could get a shot. I also marked the most likely directions that any deer would come from. I hadn’t seen any tracks while I was making my rounds with the lure, but it had just snowed the previous night. I knew they tended to come down the hill and head across the creek. So I situated myself so that I could both see and, if need be, shoot where I needed to.

Finally finished with preparations, I loaded the shells one by one into the shotgun. The metallic scraping, and mechanical clicking were sorely out of place in the forest morning. Once I was finished I sat and carefully placed the firearm across my lap. The shotgun was given to me by my father. It used to be his, but he had recently won a new one in a contest. So this was also new for me. I breathed in deeply, feeling as if I’d taken a few big steps towards adulthood that morning.

I leaned back against the tree, and slowly scanned the woods. I watched the animals wake up and go about their own daily hunt for food. Every so often the squirrels would play, and at first I’d perk up, thinking I heard a deer approach. But I’d laugh once I saw that it was just a couple of squirrels wrestling in the snow.

For the next few hours I watched the forest, taking in the details as I waited. I had a great appreciation for the forest. This was mostly due to my father. He loved the woods and shared that with me. For that I was grateful. There was nothing more beautiful and wonderful than nature. And sitting there, hidden beneath the trees, was one of the best ways to see it up close and untainted. Minute details and unseen dynamics became obvious after you had sat there for hours, studying it. It was also very comforting. A few times I caught myself falling into a light sleep. But my ears were still awake and searching. Any small sound would wake me, and I’d look around until drifting back into semiconsciousness.

Eventually I started to get hungry and decided it would be a good idea to eat one of the sandwiches I had brought. Even obscured by the grey winter clouds I could see that the sun was fairly high, though not nearly overhead. Luckily I had packed plenty of food. Two sandwiches, an apple, and a few granola bars. That would easily get me through to the afternoon. But right now I felt the pull of my stomach, and had to give in.

After a few careful visual sweeps of the forest, I slowly stood and withdrew the sandwich from my pack. As I stood there, nibbling, I continued scanning the forest. I didn’t really mind if something showed up. I’d probably just finish eating while I watched them go about their business. But nothing came by. At least, not until I had finished. Shortly after my small meal, however, I caught some movement near a small grove of pines directly across from me. I continued to stand, unmoving, while I watched the trees. Sure enough after a few minutes, a deer came out the other side. It’s head was down and it was searching for something to eat beneath the snow. I slowly reached over and picked up my gun, which I had left leaning against the tree.

As the deer approached I realized that I couldn’t get a clear shot. I had shouldered the shotgun and was gazing down the barrel, lining up the sights. Without dropping the barrel, I took a careful step to my left. Slowly, step by step, I made my way to the next tree. The deer had not noticed me, despite the fact that my breathing had become quicker, and my hands shook. I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. I couldn’t take the shot if I was shaking this much. It would be too much of a risk. But the adrenaline was circulating quickly thanks to my now rapid heartbeat.

I waited as patiently as I could. Hands shaking, I flipped off the safety. The deer was getting closer, and I needed to be ready when the shot presented itself. My hands shook more now, and my breathing was heavy and quick. A thin mist seemed to hang around my head. But I held my ground and kept the gun up, waiting. It was then that I noticed them. Two smaller deer had been following the first. Their heads down also, picking what was missed by the first deer. My heart sank. I reached up and flipped the safety back on. The switch clicked into place, and the lead deer’s head snapped up. She looked me straight in the eyes for a few long seconds. I didn’t move. I didn’t know what else to do. But she had figured it out. At least she figured out enough to know not to be there. With a snort and a stomp she twisted her body and bounded into the woods. In a few seconds the doe was nowhere to be seen. The fawns followed after a brief moment of confusion. I swear that I saw them exchange glances before following their mother.

Slowly I lowered the shotgun and set it against the tree. I was still shaking. It was time for a cup of hot chocolate. So I pulled out my thermos and poured a small amount into the cup. I watched it cool, and sipped carefully. This was very difficult, considering the amount of shaking my hands were doing.

By the time I had finished the cup, I heard more steps coming from the side. Again I paused, my heart resumed it’s quickened rhythm, and I slowly turned. But this time it was my father. I sighed deeply and watched him pick his steps without looking down. Soon he was beside me, and we chatted for a bit. I told him about the deer and he smiled. "Good thing you didn’t shoot." he said, "We don’t have any doe permits with us." He squeezed my shoulder, and I knew that wasn’t the reason it was good that I held the shot. I knew it as well as he did. I smiled and poured another hot chocolate as my dad poured a coffee. I looked out into the empty woods. It was hard to believe that something so empty held so much life. I smiled and glanced over to my father, who smiled back. I had taken my first steps on my own, but they followed his trail.

Nov 30

Hidden Treasures

Uncategorized No Comments »

This is just a quick post to let everyone know that, as a precautionary measure, I’m taking everything in my writing category and making it private, so that you will need to log in to view it. This way, if I ever want to publish anything I’ve posted here, there’s less of a chance that someone would steal it. Though I’m protected by copyright laws, I’m no lawyer and an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Any new posts that I tag as "Private" will also not show up in the RSS Feeds, so in order to know about them, you’ll have to log in and check. I’m not sure if they’ll show up on the calendar or not.

So, I apologize for the inconvenience, but all of that stuff will still be available. Additionally, it also means that I’ll probably be writing, or at least posting, things that I’ve written more frequently. Hopefully, anyways.

Nov 25

Yiya’s Birthday Poem

Poetry No Comments »

Here’s a little poem I put together for my grandmother’s birthday a few years back.

It’s fun and quirky, and I haven’t been able to write anything new, so I thought I’d share it while I try to rekindle my inspiration.

Xronia Polla to our favorite Yiayia
who reads dirty books while she bakes moussaka.

Her kitchen is always as warm as her heart
and our stomachs are full before we depart.

She cares for her family and raises our hopes
and does it without ever missing her soaps.

The life of the party, wherever she goes
for only a sip, and she’s red as a rose!

Today is her birthday, you already know,
so give her a hug and say "S’agapo!"

Nov 25

Using Two Background Images (CSS)

Web Design No Comments »

I came upon a situation today where I had two different images I wanted to use for my background.

The first was a gradient, with a grid-line pattern overlayed. Normally I would just make the background color match the ending color of the gradient and problem solved. But in this case I have the gridlines suddenly stopping on long pages.

I could have just made an extremely "tall" image, but that would be unreasonable and inflexible, since page height has no limit.

Instead, what I wanted to do is have another image that I could tile which has the same pattern as the gradient background, but was just a solid color, matching the end of the gradient.

To solve this problem, I set the background of the HTML element to be the solid-colored image and set the background of the BODY element to be the gradient. Be sure to leave the background color of the BODY blank, or it will cover the HTML background.

Here is the code:

html { background: #003366 url('background2.gif') repeat; }

body { background-image: url('background1.jpg'); background-position: top left; background-repeat: repeat-x; }

Nov 19

Tutoring

Life No Comments »

Today was my first experience tutoring a student. It’s funny, thinking back to being that age when the word "tutor" was funny (cause it sounded like "tooter").

Anyways, it went really well. I was nervous at first, because I couldn’t find the kid, but his mom called me and I found him before it was too late.

Once I found him we dove right in to his review sheet. Despite spending the past few days reviewing the material and shaking the dust off, I was a bit shaky to start with. But once we started working through everything, it all clicked back into place and I was a math-machine again. It worked out well, because I made him have to work for the answers, while I guided him on it. By the end, he seemed to have a good grasp on the current material and I’m pretty sure at least one of the things we covered really clicked for him. Having him admit that it was easier than he thought made me feel pretty good about it.

He has a quiz tomorrow, so hopefully he does well. It’s tough not knowing exactly what he’s learned, and sometimes I felt I was talking about stuff he hadn’t learned yet as if it was something he knew.

By the end, I was pretty sure he had the material, and encouraged him to do a few more problems and equated the work to practicing for music or sports. I also encouraged him to pay more attention in class, after he readily admitted that he should.

But I guess I won’t really know how effective this was until he gets his quiz back to begin with, and then how he continues to perform. I’ll be meeting with him 2 nights per week, so hopefully I can help him understand it all and get his grade up.

It was nice for me to blow some of the dust off of my education and relive some of the math that I (don’t laugh) enjoyed. Though it crunched my schedule a bit…

Nov 13

Dolmathes and Tae Kwon Do Lessons

Life, Poland No Comments »

What do these two have to do with each other?

Absolutely nothing. Except that I am doing both for the first time in Poland today.

I had one student come for the first Tae Kwon Do lesson this morning. His dad was sick, but plans on coming next week. It was pretty fun. I don’t have much experience teaching younger kids, so this is both a challenge and learning experience for me.

All in all, I think it went pretty well. He was shy at first, but opened right up and was showing me moves he knew by the end of the class.

I have a feeling that it will be a bit tougher to keep order once there are a few more kids and they get more comfortable. Its a pretty informal class, but we only have about 30-45 minutes each morning, so I have to make sure we don’t get too far off track.

As for the Dolmathes… I’ve seen some in the grocery stores here, and last weekend decided to buy some. I’m TOTALLY eating them for lunch today. And guess what time it is RIGHT NOW!? But I have to make sure I keep some for Jess to try, too, so I can’t eat them all.

Pow.

Nov 12

How it’s done

Life No Comments »

I need to make sure I take note of how today went, so I can repeat it in the future.

Basically, I biked back as usual – doing my Polish lesson. Then I got back, got cleaned up and started work. I put in about an hour, doing a few small things, then stopped and cleaned up some stuff in the kitchen.

Then I did a little bit more work, then stopped for lunch, watched a show, and did some more housework.

After that, I went back to work and put in about another 4 hours. Once I had finished with the section I was working on, I took out the trash, and walked across the street to the local delikatesy and grabbed a few things. The whole way I had my ipod, and I did an Italian lesson.

So, I’ve got just over 6 of my 8 hours in, and Jess has some work to do when she gets back, so it should be pretty simple for me to get in another couple hours. Just breaking up the hours a little made me feel so much more like a human being, plus helped to not hurt my neck and back as much either.

I also got to do a little photo editing today, which felt nice. I haven’t been able to do much graphic design work in a while.

Anyways, just thought I’d share that. Now I’m off to get some dinner.

Nov 12

Legend of the Seeker

Life No Comments »

Things picked up a bit more last night once Jess got back from her craft night.

She cooked the dinner (Peanut Chicken. Yum) and cleaned up the dishes while I unloaded the washer. My plan had been to finish the chores, then take a stroll around the block. But dinner and a movie sounded good, too.

Anyways, we watched the first hour-long double episode pilot of a show based on a series of books Jess and I had both read. The show was originally supposed to be named after the first book (Wizard’s First Rule), but we found out it was named The Legend of the Seeker instead.

This name change was a bit more obvious after we watched the show. Neither of us were thrilled with the casting, and the plot was very different from the book. But somehow, after it was over, I found that I enjoyed it and I was anxious for the next episode.

I needed to detach myself from the plot of the books before I could enjoy it. There were a lot of changes that felt like they were just dumbing the story down, and weren’t really necessary to make it work as a show.

But, either way, it was pretty decent, and I had a pretty decent rest of the night.

Nov 11

Polish Independence Day

Life No Comments »

I’d like to say I did something special today, but I didn’t.

Since I don’t get the day off, Jess and I sat around and both did work.

I meant to write yesterday, but never got around to it… Could be the desire to be as far away from my couch and computers as possible when I’m not working… Unfortunately, that’s where all our entertainment is.

Yesterday was kind of nice, though. We went up to Pizza Marzzano for dinner with a bunch of the other teachers, then over to Sadyba for a movie. We saw Burn After Reading, which was fairly comical, though very fragmented and overly graphic (aka too realistic) for the violent scenes.

Either way, I had a good time. Pretty much any time I can get out of the house and hang out with people is a good time.

I should probably go out and take out the recycling… That’ll get me off the couch for a few minutes anyways.

Jess is out doing crafts with a few of the other teachers, which is cool. I’m glad she’s making some friends and having time to hang out with them.

Unfortunately, I’m finding it difficult to keep from constantly slipping back into melancholy. I like what I do for a living – websites and all. And I like the flexibility of it. But I miss human interaction so much… And I’m not really making the kind of websites I’d really like to, so I feel a bit limited… but that’s the difference between a job and a hobby I guess… Doing what you need to versus what you want to.

So this is my substitute… Talking to myself in public. Whether it’s here, or Polish lessons on my bike. But it is a good motivator to finally do some more writing… unfortunately I’m rarely in the writing mood these days. I just have an irresistable urge to get my ass off the couch, but as soon as I get up, I go right back because there’s nothing else to do but go on the computer or read a book. And right now all the books I have are about the holocaust, which doesn’t really raise the happiness meter.

Anyways, I think I’m gonna put a cap on this mope-fest and go take out the trash… Fresh air will do me some good. Course, that means I have to change out of my pajamas…

Nov 09

Procrastination

Life No Comments »

This morning started out at a good pace. Jess and I got up, had breakfast, and then were out the door on our way to get our shopping done. We hopped on the 130 bus, and about an hour later, we arrived at the Blue City mall. Our main goal was to go to the Decathlon and get some bigger fenders for the bike, and grab a Light for Dale. But the lights weren’t good, and none of the fenders were what we were looking for. We did grab some more clips for our pants (to keep them out of the chain and pedals), new brakepads, and Jess got a warm pair of sweatpants for a winter layer.

After that, we went in to the Carrefour nearby. It’s a pretty sizeable supermarket, kind of like Wal-Mart. We loaded up on some meat, a few canned goods, bread, and, most importantly, a Brita. That was one of our main goals, and we almost left the store without it! But Jess remembered as we were in line, so we ran back out and got one.

Unfortunately, we forgot our backpacks, so we were stuck carrying a few, pretty heavy bags. We took a break to stop for some lunch at a Sphinx restaurant. Jess got her usual standby – caprese, and I had a margherita pizza. It was actually more like a plain cheese pizza, but it was good. I ate way too much, though.

On our way out, we stopped in a Coffee Heaven and grabbed a couple of Tiger Chai Lattes. Very tasty stuff.

We lugged our stuff back to the bus, which was just about to leave. But we weren’t sure if we were supposed to have drinks, so we stuffed them in our bag and hopped on. We took a seat near the back and pulled our drinks back out. The only signs I saw were no alcohol and no smoking. So I figured we were in the clear – not that we would have stopped if it was prohibited anyways.

After about another hour of being squished in our seats, we arrived back home. We power-walked back to our apartment (normally an 8 minute walk) so Jess could use the bathroom ("I thought I told you to go before we got on the bus!" ) and unloaded our stuff.

Afterwards, Jess had to get to work. She’s still at it, and, after she told me her workload, I think it’s ridiculous. Her one class is actually about 3 or 4 classes worth of work – and little of it is relevant to the class. Less of that is relevant to her major… it’s just a "requirement". Which, in layman’s terms translates to "How the college earns it’s money". It makes me very sad that even education has become a business… But that’s something I don’t feel like getting into right now.

So anyways, while she worked I figured I’d get on the computer and work ahead a bit… That resulted in me doing about an hour of work, and about 2 hours of some solid, spider solitaire. I’ve been sticking to my idea that you can win, as long as you "play your cards right". I’m currently on a 15 game winning streak… But I’m stuck on a pretty tough one. I keep having to go back and start again.

But anyways… most of our entertainment resides on the computers, unfortunately… so when we got sick of staring at the screens we took a stroll out and across the street from our complex to a small cluster of shops. The cukiernia was closed unfortunately. I was hoping for a cappuccino and maybe something sweet. The delikatesy was closed, too. But the wine shop was open! So we picked up a bottle of French Bordeaux, which I’m enjoying a glass of right now.

I’m trying to keep to my promise of writing every day, and earlier I started on my kid’s story based on one of our rabbits. Jess likes it so far, but it’s got a long way to go. Then there’s the issue of illustration. I thought of just using photos, but that would be tough and a bit unprofessional. My artwork is barely passable, and besides, I left all my drawing supplies back in the states. So we’ll see what happens there, but at least I can get the words down. We need that first to guide the illustrations, anyway.

I’ve got a few other projects I could be working on, but I just can’t bring myself to do them… I feel like I’m always doing some kind of website stuff, so in my freetime I try to get as far away from it as possible. But Eric asked me to put together a simple site for Jess’ (his Jess, not mine) webcomic. I’ve yet to get around to that… Maybe tonight. It’s still relatively early, and it should be simple enough to at least start something for it… We’ll see. I might just try to crash early, and maybe read a bit. Just another excuse to push things off a bit longer, I guess.