So I was just sitting here with Sesame Street on in the background while my daughter naps, and I got an idea from the cartoon for some really cool curtains.

I’m just going to jot the idea down here, and then when we have a place, I’m definitely doing this in her room.

Start with some opaque curtains, probably a darker color would be best.

Then cut or punch a bunch of star-shaped holes (or any other fun, nighttime shapes) in the opaque curtains.

Just hang them with a sheer curtain behind, and let the outside moon/street lights do the rest! 

If the curtains are not very stiff, probably just round holes would be best.  I’m not sure how to preserve the shapes cut into the curtains…  But if I can thin down the curtains, rather than cutting holes, that might work better, plus eliminate the need for the sheer curtain behind it…

This morning, Dr. Jane Goodall visited The American School of Warsaw (ASW) where my wife works to speak to the students, and hear what they had to say.  It was an incredible opportunity, and I didn’t want to miss it.

At first, I wasn’t sure I would make there.  There are a lot of things to do around the house, and I have Izzy in the mornings.  It was too late to try and make other arrangements and I was feeling like I couldn’t do it.  I realized that what I couldn’t do was leave my comfort zone.  I was about to make the same decision I’ve made hundreds of times before: go with the sure, easy thing that I know would work ahead of time, rather than do what I want and either make it work or deal with the consequences.

I’m really only mentioning this because I feel it’s the kind of choice that we all face daily, and one that I believe Dr. Goodall (or Dr. Jane as she referred to herself to the kids) would not hesitate follow her heart.

Her calm, easy manner and measured speach were more fitting for someone strolling through a park than a woman who travels 300 days of the year, raising awareness and campaigning to save the planet (and by planet, I don’t mean making sure humans have a comfy place to live.  I mean the whole planet – every living thing – and the balance nature requires).  She is a woman who followed (and continues to follow) her passion, regardless of any obstacles.  But it’s not a raging passion that burns strong and quickly.  She proves that you do not need to be a charging rhinoceros to break through barriers.  She is calm and observant, and dismantles barriers with undeniable truth and patience, rather than brute force.

She mentioned at one point that she is able to travel so much, despite it being so difficult, because she wants to hear students tell her what they are doing to help the environment.  That really struck me, because she’s not traveling to speak.  She’s traveling to listen.

One of the things Dr. Goodall emphasized is that we humans have disconnected ourselves from animals, claiming to be something different – something better.  When in reality we are just animals.  And in studying the chipmanzees, she can see we’ve also disconnected our brains from our hearts.  We make too many decisions based on short-term goals and put all our focus on what we, personally, have to gain and very little, if any, on the consequences of our actions beyond ourselves.

Dr. Goodall stressed that we do not only need to be conscious of, and work to fix, the problems facing the planet we all inhabit, but also we must be aware of ourselves socially, and culturally.  Preserving our planet’s delicate balance is about more than just recycling and reducing your carbon footprint.  It’s about teamwork and community. 

I, unfortunately, do not have the kind of memory that allows me to recite what she said as eloquently as she said it, but there were a few things she said that stuck with me for one reason or another that I will try to paraphrase.

When she was a child, Dr. Goodall told us, she was so interested in animals that she would bring worms to bed with her.  Rather than get angry, her mother explained to her that the worms would not survive apart from the dirt.  So together they would return the worms to their natural environment, where I’m sure she would return to study them.  I hope, as a parent, I can be as supportive of my childrens’ interests.

Dr. Goodall accepted responsibility for the current condition of the planet on behalf of her entire generation, though I’m sure she did far more to help it than many of them, she still lived through that time.  She quoted a phrase that has gained popularity lately, which is "We do not inherit the world from our parents, we borrow it from our children."  She went on to disagree slightly with this, saying that borrowing implies we are giving something back.  Instead, she said, we have been stealing it from you.

Of all the things she said, however, probably her strongest message was simply that: "It is impossible for anyone to not make a difference."  Dr. Goodall reminded us that every person in every moment is influencing their surroundings.  Everything we do – good, bad, or indifferent – has an impact.  We are not individuals, disconnected from nature.  We are animals sharing life with billions of others.  We more than live on the Earth; We are a part of it.

The other day I was mixing up some cottage cheese and blueberries, and had some verses in Polish pop into my head, so I wanted to record them here for posterity.  And it’s my first poem in Polish!

Jagody, jagody, w moim ogrody.
Tak gruby, tak mokry, niestety mrozony.

Had another vivid dream fragment this morning.  Very detailed and not connected to anything that I can remember.  I’m going to do my best to reconstruct it here in story form.  Only some of the details have been added or expanded upon.  But all of the characters, major actions, and objects are all straight from the dream.  Let’s do this first-person, too.  Makes sense.

We’re floating along the highway.  Yep, floating.  I look up and sure enough, it’s a hot-air balloon.  Well, really more like a blimp, but we’re in a hanging basket underneath.  It’s a big, damn basket though.  There’s room enough for a few of us, plus cargo.  Important cargo, apparently, though I haven’t been told what it is.  And I don’t expect to find out.  I’m really not all that interested.

I watch as we sail over the two-lane, divided highway.  Just above the cars and street signs.  Not long ago we floated over one of those convenience store/gas stations that thrive around highway exits. I didn’t catch much detail about it, other than the fact that it was red and looked familiar.  Reminded me of the one in Apalachin.  Similar layout, anyways.  But they’re all similar.

We started gaining speed and I watched more signs wizz by below us.  At the time I could see them all in great detail and they all made perfect sense. 

We continued on our way making idle conversation – the kind you forget almost as soon as it’s left your mouth.  Once in a while someone would mention the cargo, but that would get pulled into the undertoe of conversation or be lost to the clouds. 

We passed over one sign in particular that stood out.  It was the word "Color", bridging the highway in a bubbly font that looked like it was made from vacuum-formed plastic.  "But it’s all white" I said to anyone who was listening, which elicited a moderate chuckle from my friends around me.  I’m not sure who was there, but I know that it was a group of my friends.

Not long after we passed the sign, the wind (which I had previously taken for granted) died out and we came to a stop.  So I climbed down (or I assume I climbed down) and got into one of several cars that had been keeping pace.  Matt got into the other and we took off down the highway.  The balloon continued to meander slowly along the route, but it wasn’t long before we got ahead of it.

We came to a sudden fork in the road, and I couldn’t tell which direction I should be going, and whatever radio/cell phone communication I had back to the group was gone, or they were taking their sweet time getting me an answer.  Out of time, I chose the right lane.  It looked like more of a continuation of the road I was already on.

As I curved around the exit, I noticed a sign for route 51 west, and felt relieved.  We were headed west, so I was at least going in the right direction. 

Pretty soon I was driving slowly through the parkway of a small town.  There were shops and restaurants, but not the quaint, village type.  This was that same prefab parkway in every modern American town these days.  The exact same chain restaurants framed by hotels and car dealerships, with a few strip malls and sprinkling of actual local businesses. 

Completely unintersted we continued driving until we got to a more residential area, where Matt and I parked our cars and got out.  I’m not sure exactly why – maybe we were looking for directions.  But I was confident that Matt knew what was going on, so I followed him.

Matt was on his cell phone, talking with Beckie who was back in the balloon.  I followed him across a small field of grass in between the buildings of an apartment complex, and hopped a small, trickling stream.

From there we went up a set of wooden steps onto the deck of one of the apartment buildings.  "Hey Matt, the wind’s picking up, but I think it’s going to rain."

"No, don’t be ridiculous, it’s not going to rain." he responded, annoyed.  I’m sure it wasn’t anything I did.  Probably just the situation.  But despite his annoyance, I then pointed to a distant hill. 

"It’s going to rain." I stated again, this time with proof.  On that distant hill we could see sheets of rain moving like fog over the trees, swallowing them as it moved closer.

Without another word, Matt pulled open the screen door to the apartment whose deck we were on, and stepped inside.  "Matt!" I exclaimed in a shocked whisper.  He just turned to me with that same annoyed look, cell phone still glued to his ear.  "We can’t go in there!".  He rolled his eyes, but followed me back outside.

We retraced our steps down the deck to the lawn, and across the creek.  Along the way we passed a few young kids, one was a girl with a pink dress on, the other a boy in blue jeans.  Both wore hats and were tossing a ball back and forth.  They fixed us with stares of confused disgust, so I smiled. 

Not far past the children was a shed-sized house complete with curtains and a welcome mat.  "Matt." I waved to him, "over here, we can use this one!"  I gestured to my discovery, but he gave it one look and kept walking, never even slowing or breaking his pace.

A little farther down we got closer to the main road, and there was what I can only describe as a restaurant.  Matt walked in with a satisfied grin.  I smiled widely too and exclaimed "It’s perfect!"  And it really was.  It was laid out more like a cafe than a restaurant, but there was a diner-style serving bar that served candy.  The center was wide open and there were arcade games off to one side. 

And then it all ended as I woke up.  Not very exciting, but it gave me something to write about.  I’ve got another one from a few days ago that I’ll probably jot down today as well.

Ok, this time I’m giving myself a similar assignment, except this time I’m writing what happens next, with little to no reference as to what has already happened.  We’re just getting plunked into the middle of the story.

And for some extra flavor, I’m going to try it in 1st person, too…  I’m also going to upload a copy of the photo, rather than a link so that it doesn’t get lost in the Internets.  Once again fair warning – this may suck.  It’s late, I’m tired, and I won’t be spending much time on this.  It’s just practice to make sure I’m writing as often as I can manage.

I really hope I’m not squeezing too hard.  With all the adrenaline pumping through me right now, I didn’t realize how hard I was holding their hands.  We’ve formed a big line down the slope to the river, hand in hand.  I feel like one of those monkeys from that old barrell-o-monkeys game.  I probably look like one too, right now, bright colors and all. 

My buddy, Rob, is behind me.  I don’t care so much about him – he’ll live – it’s the girl in front of me I’m worried about.  I don’t really know her and she’s kind of cute.  I’d hate to put her off by crushing her fingers.  Not that I can make a good impression smelling like a boxer after a fight, and wrapped up in this oh-so-sexy life preserver.  At least I’m not wearing the pink helmet.  I made sure Rob got stuck with that one.

I relax my grip a bit and do my best to give her a smile when she looks back.  "You ready for this?" I ask her excitedly, making sure my muscles are still flexed; partially to impress and partially to provide an explanation for the stale sweat smell.

She throws me back a calm smirk and asks "Are you?".  I had to pause for a second and figure out what just happened.  All I saw as I came to my senses were her banana yellow "aqua-socks" disappearing in a spray of foam, quickly reappearing to chase her bobbing helmet through the rocks and out of sight. 

"Your turn, ace.  You buckled?"  It was our bald-headed guide, Doug.  He’s so laid back, I’d almost forgotten he was with us.  I watched him sitting on one of the big rocks, feet dangling just above the water, completely fearless of the rabid, churning maelstrom just inches below his toes. 

Just to be sure, I take a quick glance down and tug on the straps.  Life vest is good, and I can already feel that the helmet is secure.  If he didn’t need to hang on to me, I know Rob would have taken the opportunity to smack my helmet, so I spare a quick, dirty look for him before giving the thumbs-up.  "Locked and ready to rock!".

Doug causually invites me into the river with a sweep of his hand.  I can’t tell for sure, but it looked like he almost laughed.  I’m not worried, though.  I’m gonna make this river my bitch.  I envision myself hurtling down the river, skillfully dodging the rocks at the last second.  And of course catching up with that girl.  Was her name Ashley?

I’ll just have to find out later.  Right now, it’s go time.  To emphasize this, Rob releases his grip.  "Time to fly, Mary!" Having been hanging onto him, I hadn’t steadied myself yet.  I stumble to get my feet under me before I run out of dry land, and at the last instant manage to shove down hard against the ground and launch myself out over the water. 

I remember what the guide had warned us about letting our feet hit bottom, so I twist mid air and land on my back.  The water doesn’t do much to soften the landing, and I am only able to grab a quick gulp of air before my head is covered.  But it’s an equally short time before I break the surface again and shake off the foam.  At first, all I can see is shapes and colors, but after a few seconds I pick out Rob’s pink helmet chasing me downstream and am able to orient myself again.

I turn and point my feet out in front of me – this isn’t something I want to do head first.  Taking a minute to look around, I realize that I’m not going as fast as I thought I would be.  And there’s certainly not as many rocks to avoid.  My heart is still pumping, thumping my ears louder than the water breaking on the rocks, but it’s starting to settle down.  It’s atually kind of peaceful, and I find myself watching the trees and the clouds while alternating between deep thoughts, and no thoughts at all. 

Then one thought crops up that doesn’t slide away with the current.  It’s that girl and her smug little smirk (or at least, that’s what I’ve convinced myself it was).  She knew it wasn’t the roller-coaster type thrill ride that I’d worked myself up for.  And I went and acted like an idiot.  Oh well.  Not the first relationship that ended before it began.  As long as I’m here, I’ll just float along and enjoy it.

No sooner had I finally gotten her out of my head, than I get my head cracked against a rock.  I didn’t see it coming, and a quick but short drop dunked me under and spun me sideways.  Luckily the helmet absorbed most of it.  "Son of a -" I begin to half chuckle, half curse, but am cut short when, as I’m attempting to right myself I get another rock to the ribs. 

I choke and sputter and end up with a mouthful of water before, causing more choking and sputtering.  Desperately, as panic begins to set in, I flail wildly, trying to get a grip on something.  It feels like forever before I manage to get my hands on something solid.  I grab on tight and pull myself towards the shore.  It’s easier than I thought it would be to fight the current. 

"Hell of a ride, eh cowboy?" By this point, I’ve got my chest up on dry land.  I’m still coughing like hell, but I manage to choke it down.  My lungs continue to fight me and I’m sure I sound like I’m sobbing, so I’m not sure it helped.  As soon as I saw who else was there, though, I went right back to the coughing.  It was that girl…  "Ashley" she finishes my thought for me as she puts one hand in mine – the other, I realized, was on my shoulder already.  "And you are?"

"Carl" I manage to cough out. 

"Well, Ca-arl," she mocks me.  Of course she mocks me, "How was it?  Was it everything you expected?"

I muster all my strength to give her the best serious look possible while trying to stifle my coughing. "Actually" I wheeze out "it was really peaceful." 

After that, we both started laughing, which of course ended in more coughing for me.

 In order to work on my writing, I’m going to start doing some exercises and trying to write often – even if what I write sucks (which I’m sure it will more often than not – especially late nights like tonight).

Tonight’s exercise: Go to www.flickr.com/photos/, find the first photo of a person, and write a brief story about what just happened to them, and what they’re going to do next.  Here’s my photo:

Just like that, it was over.  No screaming or drawn out arguments, just a note taped to the door, and even that was simpler than he expected.  It should have been harder.  There should have been a struggle.

But there wasn’t.  Part of him was angry that he wasn’t even given the chance to fight for her.  But he did have a chance.  He’d had plenty of them.  But despite knowing this day would eventually come, he did nothing.  He couldn’t even gather the energy to form a tight fist before his fingers went flaccid.  The wooden bench bit into his back, but he made no effort to move.  His feet may as well have been glued to the floor.

He thought about that bench.  They had had their first real conversation there.  He remembered how the party raged on around them, but never intruded; like the eye of a hurricane.  He remembered her smile, and how her face lit up.  Nobody had ever been so interested in him, and he had never been able to talk to someone so freely and openly.  Even in the middle of the crowd, as long as he was talking to her, they didn’t exist.  

But that was then.  Three months ago – had it really only been three? – he had been sitting in this exact same spot, but in a completely different place.  He stared at the note on the door.  He hadn’t read it yet.  Didn’t need to:  he knew what it said.  

Without breaking his gaze, he took a sip from the bottle dangling precariously from his lifeless fingers.  He barely noticed; It was almost reflex.  But he caught himself and held the bottle out in front of him.  That damned bottle.  

Suddenly finding the strength he stood and whipped the bottle at the door.  It exploded in a glittering shower of glass and cheap beer.  Without breaking stride he shoved open the door and slammed it behind him.  The ink ran down the now shredded paper like tears.  There was going to be quite a mess to clean up in the morning.

Despite being unbearably shy, I’ve always been able to do the things that I felt were right, regardless of outside pressures to the contrary.  I’ve also always taken any advice to heart, and payed attention to what people older and more experienced than me have said. 

One somewhat obvious way this has manifested itself in my life is in the way I live my life, from a conservation or "green" standpoint.  Even when I was younger and it wasn’t as much in the spotlight (except for polution and Captain Planet), I was showering every other day.  And I only had to deal with the childish comments after I mentioned his fact.  Funny how I suddenly became "stinky" only after everyone knew my showering habits.  But after that, only my story changed.

So what am I doing now?  More than I have, but not as much as I’d like.   I’ll give you the short list:

• Buy local
• Buy organic/natural
• Less red meat, but when I do: Free range, grass fed, no hormone beef
• All animal products must come from animals allowed to exercise, not genetically altered, not raised in their own feces or fed anything other than what nature intended them to eat.
• My rule of thumb: The more natural, the better.
• I do not use antibacterial anything.  Not all bacteria are bad, and the bad ones tend to be hardier.
• I shower after workouts, or every other day (depending on the situation) and I use the "navy" shower usually: water on, rinse, water off, soap up, water on, rinse off, water off.  Saves TONS of water.
• Use only biodegradable shampoos and soaps (I use REAL soap) which are light on the useless chemicals (like the ones they add so that it lathers more)
• If I can avoid it: NO high fructose corn syrup, and minimal sugars.  We are so insanely over sugared, it’s terrifying.
• I always bring my own bags to the store (any store – typically backpack), and if I ever forget them I get paper bags whenever possible.
• I did not own a car for a year and a half – only public transit and bicycle.  Now (out of necessity) we have only one for the family, and it’s small and fuel efficient.  I also try to plan my routes ahead of time to be more efficient.  That saves time AND gas!  Score!
• Use a dishwasher whenever possible rather than hand-washing.
• Recycle!!
• Use energy efficient light bulbs.
• Minimize the amount of lights and appliances in use when not necessary.
• Unplug anything that’s not in use – I’m not as good about this one, but it’s something I try to do when I can.
• Clean grass cutting: in Southwick I had a mechanical mower.  In Warsaw I use an electric, which is still dirty because the power plant is coal fired, but I’m fairly limited.
• Minimize trash by buying products with less packaging, recycling, and reusing.  Included in this is groups like Freecycle, where old stuff is given away to other people who can use it. 

And here’s my list of things that I can’t do yet, due to my transient lifestyle, but plan on doing as soon as I have my own place (or have done in the past when I was able to):

• Grow my own herbs, veggies and fruits.  Obviously not everything, but it makes a huge difference!
• Compost
• Collect rainwater for irrigation/showers/toilet, depending on quantity and reusability.
• Collect drain water (shower, sinks, washing machine) for the same purposes, though biodegradable soaps are key there.  Plus some filtering may be necessary.
• Raise a few chickens for fresh eggs.
• Energy alternatives:
  • Small, residential windmills
  • Solar power? (possibly.  Not a big win where I’d be living, and I’d prefer safer chemicals used.  Heard about some great research in this field, but no products yet)
  • Earth sheltered home (Basically building into a hill to regulate temperature)
  • Geothermal
  • Soapstone masonry stove (Woodstove with a soapstone surround.  Only burn for a few hours to heat for the whole day!)
  • South facing home with good windows and shading configuration to optimize natural light and heat gain when needed.
• I’d like to use good building materials if building a new house, or doing any work on it.  Stuff that is manufactured cleanly, or recycled but also durable.  Also stuff that requires less chemical treating and maintenance.
• Better grasses – there are some that require less watering and nitrogen and grow in tougher soils, also prevent weeds and grow slower.
• Go back to hunting.

There’s probably more stuff I can do, or am doing, but that’s all I can think of at the moment and I’m out of time for now.

Not only have I not written in a while (no surprise there), but with all the impending weddings I looked back on my own and realized that I never shared the Apache wedding prayer that got left out of our ceremony.  So here it is!

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies,
But there is one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

When I first saw the trailer for this movie my heart sank.  Despite really liking Jackie Chan, I was almost a little mad that he was involved in what seemed more of a spoof than a remake of the old classic.

But I really like Jackie Chan, and the movie looked good in the trailers.  After seeing it in the theater, I have to say that it was a really good movie.  I’m still mad about the title, but glad they they revitalized and modernized the original for another generation to enjoy.

The movie sticks surprisingly (or annoyingly) close to the storyline of the original.  Only child of a single mom kept from the girl he likes by a group of kids skilled in martial arts from a tough school that emphasizes brutality over honor.  Kid finds a father figure in the reclusive maintenance man, who teaches him martial arts and respect.

I was really impressed with Jaden Smith’s performance in the movie.  Maybe not perfect acting, and there were definitely echoes of his father, but still good.  And he clearly has some skill when it comes to martial arts.  This was also a really good movie for Chan, after a few recent bombs.

The general storyline was carried over almost exactly from the original, even preserving scenes and character dynamics exactly.  If I had to characterize it, I would say that they took the plot from the first Karate Kid, combined it with the ethnic experience of Karate Kid II, and then spiced it up with some Jackie Chan style action, and adapted it for an audience of todays youth.

The message, like the story line, remains largely the same.  Without giving away too much, I have to say that I really enjoyed the ending.  I was hungry for it by that point, and thought I was going to get let down, but was happy that it went the way it did.  For a minute I was afraid that they were going to do another mocking parallel of the original, but they very respectfully and elloquently payed homage while giving it a major face lift. 

Overall, I enjoyed it and for the most part, I was able to put aside my grievances and enjoy the movie for what it was.  With the exception of emphasizing the athletic styles of martial arts, the message was great and I hope a lot of kids watch this movie and go home with something more than the urge to throw some kicks at their friends.

I like to make up little rhymes or songs throughout the course of the day.  Mostly stuff for kids. 

Today while I was washing up a bowl of blueberries, with some Celtic music in the background, this little critter popped out of my head:

I’m gonna eat the berries; gonna put them in my belly.
I’m gonna chew them up real good and turn them into jelly!

I’ve decided that I need to start jotting these little guys down, at least to share them for other giggles.

I’ve always wanted to write for kids, so maybe I’ll make up some more cutsie little poetry and put together a small book or something.